Most recruiting advice is written from the family's perspective. This one is not.

We sat down with a college coach — a Division I assistant with more than a decade of recruiting experience across two sports — and asked the questions that families most want answered. The answers are direct, practical, and occasionally uncomfortable. That is the point.

When you go to watch a recruit in September, what are you actually evaluating?

The first thing I look for is how they move when the ball is not near them. That tells me more than anything else. A player who is engaged, communicating, and positioning themselves correctly when they are not directly involved in the play — that is a player who understands the game at a high level.

After that, I watch how they respond to adversity. Does a bad play affect their next play? Do they argue with officials? Do they check out when their team is down? Those things matter enormously. I can develop athletic skills. I cannot develop character.

What do most families misunderstand about September evaluations?

They think we are watching stats. We are not — at least not primarily. I can look up stats later. When I am in the stands, I am watching things that do not show up in a box score.

I am also watching the parents. I know that sounds strange, but a parent who is screaming at officials, coaching from the stands, or visibly upset every time their kid makes a mistake tells me something about the environment that athlete is coming from. Recruiting is a four-year relationship. I want to know what I am getting into.

How important is it for recruits to reach out before you attend their game?

Very important. I have a list of athletes I am planning to watch, and I have a list of athletes who have reached out and told me they are playing. Those two lists overlap, but they are not the same list.

If an athlete sends me a professional email with their schedule and I am already in the area for another game, I will make the effort to see them. If I do not know they are playing, I cannot make that decision. The athletes who communicate proactively get more looks.

What does a good introductory email look like?

Short, specific, and professional. Tell me your graduation year, your position, your GPA, and give me a link to current film. Tell me why you are interested in our program — and make it specific to our program, not a generic statement you sent to 50 coaches.

The emails I remember are the ones where the athlete clearly did their homework. They mention something about our program, our conference, our academic reputation. That tells me they are serious. The emails I delete are the ones that start with "I am a highly recruited athlete" or have a subject line like "Future Star."

What is the biggest mistake recruits make during September?

Waiting. They are waiting for coaches to come to them, waiting for the right moment to reach out, waiting until they have a better highlight video. Meanwhile, the athletes who are organized and proactive are filling the spots on our board.

The recruiting process rewards preparation and initiative. The families who understand that — who have a plan, communicate consistently, and show up ready — are the ones who end up with options. The ones who are waiting for something to happen usually end up with fewer choices than they expected.

What advice would you give to a family that is just starting the recruiting process?

Start earlier than you think you need to. Get organized. Build a real school list — not just a dream list — that includes programs across divisions and regions where your athlete genuinely fits athletically and academically.

And teach your athlete to communicate professionally. The ability to write a clear, respectful email and have a mature phone conversation is a skill that matters in recruiting and in life. The athletes who can do that stand out immediately.

The Complete Recruiting System gives families the tools, templates, and framework to approach the recruiting process the way coaches expect — organized, proactive, and professional. See the full system.